Things That Are Tougher Than Getting Into Harvard

Feeling down that you weren’t accepted by the finest of collegiate institutions? Well rest assured, knowing that either your life will be filled with much more disappointment…or that you’re not only in your rejection struggles. I give you, courtesy of Business Insider, some of the top 5 things that are harder to get into than Harvard.

5. A job at certain Wal-Mart locations

Yes, there is a fight to the death job application process at many Wal-Marts around the world. Take for instance, the newly opened DC location, which received over 23,000 applications, yet hired only 600 new employees, for salaries that average $25,000. That’s a 2.6% acceptance rate, which makes Harvard’s 5.9% rate look like the NO JUDGEMENT ZONE of Planet Fitness. The average Harvard graduate makes well over six figures, so rest assured knowing that at least you were rejected from being potentially rich.

walmart jobs

4. The Top 50 Posts On Your Friend’s Newsfeed

Still feeling down that you weren’t smart enough for Harvard? Well, I’m sorry to say that you’re probably also not funny, cool or entertaining enough for your Facebook friends either. The social network chooses from over 1,500 posts to create your friends’ newsfeeds and it is all based on an algorithm that factors in popularity and relevance of posts, giving you a 3.3% chance of being selected. Just give up now.

fb newsfeed

3. The Secret Service

This one may actually be a blessing in disguise as recently the Secret Service accepted less than 1% of its over 15,000 applications for special agents. While it may  seem like a cool job, pretty sure taking bullets and walking with the fear of having to sacrifice your life on a daily basis isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I will say, you do get to be a real life hero from Men In Black, but there’s no talking aliens or gadgets to erase people’s memory…or Will Smith. Let’s chalk this one up as a win and be glad we weren’t picked.

secret service

2. Touching an iPhone 6 before September 19

Unless you are the resurrected spirit of Steve Jobs, Illuminati or the world’s best phone burglar, chances are you waited just like everyone else for your pre-order of the newest Apple phone. The mega-company already has over FOUR MILLION orders for this phone, which I still can’t understand and yet only had 2,500 devices in stock at the time of the announcement. That’s  0.1% chance of getting one of the first phones. If that’s not bad enough, try being that guy in Australia who was the first person to get the phone, and then proceeded to drop it…on national television. #nailedit

drops first iphone

1. A Job At Google

Even if you were amazing enough to get into Harvard, you may still not be good enough for Google. The search engine’s hiring process includes meeting with a recruiter, about three phone interviews and then 5 in person meetings. They receive around 1 million applications annually and only hire around 3,000 people, giving you a 0.3% chance of getting in. This may be the only one I would cry about as employees get all their meals free, have access to company cars and bikes and can theoretically live on campus at work (which many do for a few years to avoid rent and pay off their loans). Yep…just cried a little.

google jobs